Does this Relationship Killer Affect You?  

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?”  Actually who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world.  There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.  We are all meant to shine as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.  And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  

                              ~Marianne Williamson

I agree with Marianne!  I love this quote, but it’s my pride in the form of comparison and a competitive spirit that often get in my way.  Sadly, it has even acted as a relationship killer in my life.  I ‘know’ that all of us are unique and we have each been gifted with special talents.  I firmly believe we have all been set apart to do something extraordinary!  But I also know that comparison in our social media cluttered culture today are easy to get stuck in.  

The shift in my heart and mind away from comparison has come only from knowing and understanding the truth about what my Creator says and thinks of me and all of His beautiful people.  Because the enemy of my soul tries to remind me daily to look to the right or to the left.  But God asks me to look straight to Him, and to compare myself only to Him.  Today I practice a daily renewing of my mind in Him and His Word.  I am enough with and through Him!  I don’t have to be anxious or worry about what someone else is doing today.  I don’t know about you, but I want to live out what my Creator has uniquely planned for me!!!  After all, in the end it will be between me and Him, not me and others.  But He will ask me, “Ana, did you love?”  

Another reason I love the quote above from Marianne—because we all need to step out and stop shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around us.  That means the woman or man next to you, is meant to shine.  That means that YOU, yes YOU were created to shine!!  We are all meant to shine!!  And we all have our own unique shine because we were each created with a purpose that we carry out until our last day.  I believe most of us have an expectation and desire to do our best and to be great however when an expectation that starts with a good desire starts controlling us it then becomes an idol in our lives.  Too often competition or comparison becomes an idol—especially between women.  Frankly, I am sick and tired of this!!!!!!   I can hear plenty of—AMENS!  Plus I know I am not the only woman to write on this topic.  Our aim needs to be uplifting those around us with all the glory and honor to our Heavenly Father.  Our aim mustn’t be to lift ourselves up, and for real this has been a struggle for me in my past.  Today I am not bound by the chains of a comparison and self-promotion like I once was.  I will always be vulnerable to these things but now I know a better way to live and love thanks to Jesus Christ!! 

A comparison and things like self-promotion, envy and pride etc. are relationship killers.  What if we lived in a world where we intentionally built each other up???   What if we admired each other strengths, talents and we helped cover each other’s weaknesses???  That would be one amazing world!!!!!!  Think of all the extraordinary things that would happen as a result—mind blowing!!!!!!  We all have times in our lives when we’re not ‘who’ we want to be, we’re not ‘where’ we want to be and we’re not doing ‘exactly what we saw’ ourselves doing. Guess what?! The only one who can change your life is you, you have to change your thoughts, which will change your behavior which will in turn change your life. We all need help from mentors and friends.   Most of all we need a relationship with our Maker to renew our thoughts and minds.  Our relationships suffer greatly or become nonexistent when (pride) comparison takes over.  It starts in our hearts and minds, we can keep the toxic thoughts and feelings there and thus in our relationships and let it continue to tear us all apart but I believe we were made for much more than that!!! I KNOW YOU and I WERE MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT!!!!! I challenge you, my reader, choose intentionally to uplift those around you, be their biggest supporter and encourager.  So today and everyday I ask you to join me and say, “I choose intentionally to uplift the women (and men) around me—to be their biggest supporter and encourager.  SAY—SHINE, JUST SHINE!!!!  

After all… 😉 for all us women!!  

“There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

~ Madeline Albright, former U.S. Secretary of State (first female to hold this position) 



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